Becoming One: Money and Relationships

Becoming One: Money and Relationships

Feb 6, 2019 6:30:00 AM

Money is one of those things we don't like to talk about. People can feel embarrassed or ashamed because they feel like they don't have enough, or because they don't know enough about it. One of the biggest issues with money is with intimate relationships. We've all heard that money is the number one reason for divorce.

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An interesting article talks about how people who are getting married later have lower divorce rates, but most likely because they have more income and higher education. https://www.businessinsider.com/divorce-rate-falling-us-2018-9

 

Typically, business partners and businesses fail because of money problems. I think we've all had those friends who promise us they will pay us back and never do.

 

Or been that friend…

 

We don't want to talk about things like politics, religion, sex, money, but we want them to be in order.

There is a great book called Getting Financially Naked by Thakor and Kedar.

One of the first things they talk about is getting naked with yourself - Look in the mirror! What are the facts? Do you like what you see on your balance sheet?

 

They recommend when working with a partner and getting "naked" about money, to visualize success, bare it all, and take action. If you don't like what you see, or what you're heading towards with money, the time is now to change it! talk-letstalk-money-balance-partners-SO

I recommend that each partner find his or her money beliefs. Grab some coffee, ask each other questions like:

 

a. What was it like with money in your home growing up?

b. What is important to you about money?

c. What do you think and feel when you hear? "Money"

 

Talk about your relationship’s financial goals. "What should our financial house look like?" Do we have goals like travel, buying a home, children? How are we going to pay for that stuff?

What if things get tough financially? How will we communicate?

 

Did you think this blog would have more answers than questions? That is the point! It's the questions you talk to your partner about so that you know you're on the same page.

The last piece of advice I can give is to plan out your habits and lifestyle as a couple. Check out other posts and videos to learn more about budgeting and goal planning!

You'll want to plan for how much fun money you'll have, how much you'll spend on trips, and where you want to live. Planning out that stuff together will avoid many arguments and difficult no-win situations.

When you know that you're on the same team when it comes to money, it's a lot easier to stay on the same page with other things.

There are starting to be some real big financial reasons to stay married. Now in 2019, alimony payments are not tax-deductible, and those receiving alimony have to count it as income.

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/11/29/new-divorce-tax-rules-could-result-in-a-big-financial-disadvantage.html

So, if a divorce was caused by money issues, then they won't get any better after divorce.

Money is not the root of all evil; the love of money is the root of all evil. People will do some awful things because of the love of money, and some people can do some very strategic things when it comes to money and relationships. Kim K. knew that she wanted a certain lifestyle. She did what it took to get there.

Money is a great tool. Get together on the same page with your significant other for what you'd like for your lives together.

Download a PDF of the blog here

 

If you and your significant other are interested in scheduling a meeting to discuss further, use the link below!

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